This is exactly how I feel

This is exactly how I feel

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Three weeks clean

Well, it's been three weeks since I last took an Ambien, and I must be honest with you. There is not a night that goes by that the thought doesn't cross my mind that I wish I had it. It's even got to the point of me trying to figure out if there was a way I could take it without anyone knowing. That's drug addiciton right there, my friends. I can honestly say that on a small level, I now can sympathize with those who are addicted to various drugs, and I can see why they would lapse. But I promise you I haven't, and I never, ever will.

I am not sleeping great, but I am sleeping. Some nights are worse than others. Some nights I get only 3 hours of sleep, and others I get up to 6. But it's usually around the 4 to 5 hour mark. Like I said, not great, but it's doable, and I have to remember that I am still healing, and I have to be patient and realize it will get better with time.

I am not dependent on that awful pill any longer. I'm free. And I figured out again that I am stronger than I usually think I am. I can do anything, with the Lord's help. And I've noticed something else. My mind is clearer now. I can think and reason better. I don't feel drugged in the morning. I know I am healthier, and I know my baby is healthier without it. To all those who may feel that it's impossible, IT'S NOT. You can do it! And it's worth it!