Thursday, September 12, 2013
I am not sleeping great, but I am sleeping. Some nights are worse than others. Some nights I get only 3 hours of sleep, and others I get up to 6. But it's usually around the 4 to 5 hour mark. Like I said, not great, but it's doable, and I have to remember that I am still healing, and I have to be patient and realize it will get better with time.
I am not dependent on that awful pill any longer. I'm free. And I figured out again that I am stronger than I usually think I am. I can do anything, with the Lord's help. And I've noticed something else. My mind is clearer now. I can think and reason better. I don't feel drugged in the morning. I know I am healthier, and I know my baby is healthier without it. To all those who may feel that it's impossible, IT'S NOT. You can do it! And it's worth it!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
So last night, I made it to 12 pm before I was out like a light. Woke up 6.5 hours later! I FEEL AMAZING!!! Yesterday after a family party, I was basically drunk and disfunctional. I couldn't even walk inside. My hubby carried me in, plopped me on the bed, and I could have slept then, but I was trying desperately hard to stay up longer. By 11:30, I decided I could sleep, and promised myself that if I didn't nod off right away, I'd get out of bed. Well, before midnight I was out!! NEVER HAPPENS! Now today, I was up out of bed by 7, and will not be taking a nap. Hopefully I will nod off by midnight, and if I don't, I'll get out of bed, and try to sleep later. The key is to NOT stay in bed if you can't sleep. I sure hope this sticks. I got greedy last night and went to bed before I should have, but seriously, after 4 days of extremely little sleep, my body forced shut down. But if I have to, I'll stay up again.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Couldn't sleep till 4. Was woken up twice by Carson. Hubby slept downstairs with the monitor so I wouldn't hear Ethan, but we didn't expect Carson to get up. Felt like punching my hubby in the face when he told me it was 7 and I had to get up. Hardest part. Hate everyone and everything right now. God, help me.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Trying desperately to stay awake right now, but it's becoming near impossible. 2 hours to go. These lonely nights can make you crazy.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Right now, I'm fairly ok. This morning was very, very hard. 1 hour of sleep killed me, but I had no choice but to get up. As the day went on, I felt better. I'm running on something right now, not sure what. I hope this night goes by quickly, because being alone through this is no fun. I'm more worried about my state of mind tomorrow. I know, I know this will be worth it. I've been through worse. I CAN do this. I'm tough. And with His help, anything is possible. He will not leave me in my trial. He never has.
Any ideas of what could occupy my time for an entire night? Good series recommendations? Please share!